Autism - Leah's story - Part two

By the time Leah was 3, I could tell on top of everything else we were dealing with that she was way behind on everything now. I asked for a speech therapy referral. Her doctor didn't think she had any problems, however, still gave me therapy. Kinda confused me as I watch the doctor give her the tests for where she should be for a 3 year old, able to draw a circle and some other shapes, counting, name etc..... She failed them ALL! Follow your instincts - you know your child.

Leah's breakdowns were getting worse by this point. She would go into rages - throwing things, running from item to item, table to table and just destroying anything she could get her hands on. You couldn't reason with her. All you could do was hold her as tight as you could until she would settle down. During these times, her eyes would glaze over. It was like she wasn't there. Receptive and expressive speech were almost non-existent. It was a very trying, heart wrenching time. I felt like no one understood. I felt like they just questioned my lack of discipline. I wanted to scream at them, "Look at my other 3 girls ... Do they look like wild children??!!"

This was a very trying time. My whole world was spinning. Everything I thought I knew as a parent was being thrown out the door. God was working on me learning to depend on Him in everything. I had to learn to trust His work, His plan and His future. I could control absolutely nothing! I was going to learn this in a very hard trial in the near future.

A lot of days, I felt so utterly alone, overwhelmed and in tears a lot of the time. What was I doing wrong? I would hide her in the home most of the time. Shopping trips were horrible for her. I have realized hindsight is that she was way overstimulated. I did realize while going through it that I would have to take her to a quiet corner of the store to let her settle down. Again the judgmental stares. As if I don't have enough to deal with.

I wished I knew the truth of not valuing the opinion of man that only has a breath of life left. Each breath God gives and can take away, so of what value is their opinion. I urge others going through this, find support of those going through it and remember you are only accountable to God. His opinion is the only one that truly matters. He will give you the strength to get through. This is actually for everyone's benefit in your family to God's glory.